I’m a failure…

I can’t get any dates of of Plenty of Fish, & have been on there 12 YEARS…which leads me to think, “what kind of monster am I?” Am I so horrible that I have to BEG to get a date? I’m surprised that I haven’t tried to kill myself! This is demoralizing, as well as hopeless! I’m down! I’m still on Craigslist, Plenty of Fish, & Zoosk. I’m quitting POF in November for good…the only reason I haven’t yet, is because I decided to see if a three month pay period would work,…it hasn’t. There are no words for how demoralized I feel!!! I thought I had friends who were trying to help find me someone, but no one cares. I’m quite surprised that I haven’t tried to hurt myself. This isn’t a “God Thing”,….God has NOTHING to do with this. No matter what I say, this isn’t going to pan out well…all I ever wanted was to have a relationship with mutual attraction, but it is apparent that that will never happen now. Thank God for Prozac!

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4 thoughts on “I’m a failure…

  1. Monica, I’ve tried A LOT of these suggestions. Including the match-making service (in which I lost $1225.00). I am quitting all of my dating sites. I do not think of myself as a monster, but I was merely asking why people don’t even want to do anything but stand me up…I was a good man at one time, but you can only be told “you’re not good enough” for so long until you, yourself start to believe it. I fully intend to QUIT all dating sites. We don’t have singles clubs where I live & I’m not getting back into the “bar scene”. I’m fully aware of what I write in my journal. Life isn’t all ‘”sunshine and roses”…God knows, I wish it were. I just quit Craigslist today.

  2. Kerry,

    Part of the problem is your attitude with yourself. Really? Do you really think you’re a monster? You have to love yourself before someone else can. If you hate who you are than how to expect someone to love you?

    Some people over time have given you great advice and you haven’t as far as I know taken any of it. Several people have told you to avoid online dating and that it’s terrible, because it is. Another trend I’ve noticed is how much you hate on yourself and say how all you ever wanted was a relationship. Do you carry the negative attitude that you have when you blog? The I hate my life attitude? Because if you do, than it more than likely shows on your dates. Which as a female who is single, I wouldn’t probably want a second date than.

    Claiming your friends just don’t care is also a huge red flag that you need new friends or that you truly don’t communicate effectively with them & they don’t actually know how you really feel. Maybe they have the attitude of Kerry won’t listen anyway, so why try. Because you don’t seem to listen the good intended advice that’s been given to you at leasts on the comments of your blog and the fact that tor entries don’t change much or time. They all have the same undertone of hating dating, women and the life you’ve created and that it isn’t a God thing.

    Kerry, I would highly encourage you to reread your own blog and read it as if someone else were writing it. What would you think of that person? Would they seem to be pessimistic and suffer from “poor me” syndrome? Or would you be interested in dating them? That should give you some insight into how you are coming off in the encounters with women. Granted maybe this blog is the only place you vent frustration but as an outsider, I see a huge pattern and as a female I’m telling you the words you write here may have something to do with your lack of potential dates.

    Lastly I’m going to urge you again to QUIT all online dating. As you found out for yourself most people are lying and not who they say they are anyway. If you feel like it’s going to be a challenge to meet and approach people on your own I would suggest a match-making service or a singles club. The ones we have around here are called “it’s just lunch” and “events and adventures” those might be a great place for you to start.

  3. Dude, seriously, stop online dating right now. It’s horrible for relationships. I met my ex-wife on POF if that serves as any indication of the bullets you’re dodging. Why is it horrible for relationships? Because online dating allows someone to only present the good parts of themselves to you. They can hide or downplay all the negatives. You can’t do that in person. Everyone has flaws, obviously, and those flaws are what’s more important than the good things about a person. You can obviously live with the good things about a person–the real test of a relationship is whether you can live with their flaws. And you just can’t figure that out online. Online you’re getting to know and potentially falling for the persona that someone creates–not the person themselves.

    • Yep, that’s why I’m quitting POF November 6th. The ONLY reason I’m not quitting now, is because I did a 3 month paid membership…. & besides, people are lying motherfuckers.

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