Aww fuck it…

I’ve got such a poor attitude about dating now, that I don’t even want to ask anybody, anyway. All women ever do is lie & make excuses anyways.

You know…

…sometimes, very rarely, I’m glad I’m not married yet…because I have seen soooooo many of my friends getting divorces, & having problems in their marriges…I mean, EVERYBODY hates divorce, right? Or, at least, is supposed to. I’m a Christian, so I know how this all ends, but sometimes I just can’t help but wonder if God knows what He’s doing…I spent YEARS of my life blaming God for this type of crap, until one day, God finally got the concept through to me of “free will”. Even though I’ve never been through it, & hope I NEVER will, I know it is painful, & that it is VERY damaging.

I just wonder if the whole world’s gone nuts!? I see irresponsible leaders doing stupid things, people killing each other over $200.00 pairs of shoes, kids beating up the elderly, good, solid, foundational laws being replaced by nonsensical laws based on people’s “feelings & self-esteem”, education being “stripped of its truth” because someone wants to be “politically correct”, people voting for leaders based on that particular person’s favorite sport, people more concerned about what some jackass is wearing in Hollywood than the National Debt, what some actor or actress is naming their baby, who’s dating who in “Tinseltown”….I mean…WHO CARES? It’s all a sham, anyway… MY GOD…humans are screwed up! I’m just feeling hopeless…

I’ve got a dear friend of mine who is a communist, athiest, loner…& I’m beggining to wonder if he isn’t right about the “loner” part. More on this later.

Pissed!

I am not interested in dating anybody outside of a 100 mile radius of Panama City, Florida. Quite honestly, I’m sick of dating, I’m sick of overly-choosey females that want 6ft tall, blond guys. I’m a nice guy, but I have my limits…I’m not blond, & I’m NOT 6ft… I’m 5’5. I’ve wasted 11 years of my life on useless internet dating sites from Plenty of Fish to Date Hookup to OkCupid…I’m sick of it. I also wasted $1225.00 of my own money by joining Matchmaker Incorporated some years ago. Look, I could go to a party with 101 guys, & 100 girls, & I’d be the only guy going home alone; I’m not kidding. I’m also sick of apologizing for the way I feel about dating. All I ever wanted was to find someone to love, but apparently that’s too much to ask for. End of rant.

I’m only on OkCupid now…

& I’m thinking of quitting it…nobody wants me, & I’m sick of it. I’ve done everything I can to attract someone that I’m interested in, but NOTHING works…I’ve had it! I’ve been on Plenty Of Fish, Christian Date, Fusion 101, Date Hook Up, & numerous others that I can’t even remember. I’m tired. People are just mean, uncaring, vindictive, stupid, shallow, & strange to say the least…& I feel like I need to be that way just to protect myself…& I DON’T LIKE BEING THAT WAY! Most women want me to send them money so that they “can come see me”…yeah right, like I fell off the fucking “turnip truck” yesterday. I hate dating, I may never get married…which is all I’ve ever wanted (besides God).

I mean, I do have a great job, good friends, a church I enjoy going to every week, a nice car that’s almost paid off, a good family, nice dog, a nice brand new computer that I just bought, a good education, & other things, & I’m Thankful for all of that, don’t get me wrong, but I’m just sick of being treated like a second-class-citizen (or worse!) when it comes to dating!

I’ve had so many people lie to me, that I find it hard to believe any of them! I don’t wanna be Don Juan or Cassanova or any bullshit like that…I just want ONE person, that I’m attracted to, to love, & it’s like pulling alligator teeth just to get that!

I’ve had a few chances, but I wasn’t really attracted to them other than a friendship type of way….after all, don’t you BOTH have to be attracted to each other for a relationship to work?

I’ve had people lie to me, make excuses, not speak to me, block me, pick an abusive guy over me, ignore me, cut me down, & tear me apart. Hell, I even had one insult me WHILE ON THE DAMN DATE!!! It’s NO WONDER that I’ve gotten to be a mean son of a bitch! I mean, all people have been treated like hell at one time or another, but it JUST NEVER ENDS with me. I’ve gotten where I won’t even approach a female that I find attractive to ask her out, because I’m afraid I’ll just get rejected yet again.

The REAL bitch of this thing, is that I’m an award-winning bodybuilder & according to most everybody, bodybuilders do NOT have trouble getting girls…to that I say, “BULLSHIT!” I ‘ve had trouble with it ALL my life. I recently had a friend of mine say to me, “All it takes is one female to snatch you up”, to which I said, “You’re right, but I’m having a hell of a time just finding one!”

I’ve almost decided that there’s no one out there for me, & when I quit OkCupid, I will effectively be saying that out right.