Pof is full of arrogant idiots! I emailed this female, she was a bodybuilder, like me…& turns out, she was just talking to me because she, in her words, “felt sorry for me”, & that I “couldn’t get a girl like her in my wildest dreams”. Well, TO HELL WITH THAT BITCH! I don’t need that negative stuff. I can do better than her, anytime!
I’m on the verge of a success, & other days, I don’t. I hate setbacks, but everybody has them. Trying to get this dating beast under control has not been easy, to say the least! I think my biggest fear throughout all this thing has been being lied to, over & over again…NOT that I would never find anyone! I don’t lie to people, so why should they lie to me? It just doesn’t make sense.
I’m sick of women lying to me. I had a date at Chilli’s on July 17th. I thought it went well… we sat there for about an hour talking, & found out we went to high school together! She was pretty cute & we made plans to get together next weekend. Well, I texted her & called her a few times, just to talk. She never answered the phone, & answered 2 two texts. Sunday night, she, all of a sudden, decided it wouldn’t work & gave me some damnded excuse about “raising her 14 year old daughter”. Maybe I called too much or texted too much, but as soon as I don’t, they think I’m not interested. I can’t get ANYTHING right. This was NOT God’s fault…it may have been mine…I don’t know. I am getting over the depression pretty quick though,…just SICK of being “led on & lied to”. I just want ONE where we actually like & are attracted to each other!!
So far, all that’s happened is, either I’m attracted to them, but they aren’t to me, OR, they’re attracted to me, & I’m not attracted to them. I’m also tired of blaming God, BUT He isn’t helping at all. I feel like I’m being left, “High & Dry”. Everybody finds love but me. When I die, I’m going to ask God to put me in Purgatory for 10,000 years, so I can PERSONALLY kick BOTH Cupid’s & Murphy’s ASSES!
JESUS…WHEN IS THIS GOING TO STOP??? WAS LIED TO AGAIN! MY GOD, I’M SO UPSET!!! I TRULY DO NOT KNOW WHY THIS IS HAPPENING.
Was talking to a woman on POF for awhile…friendly like…asked her out a couple of times,…each time she came up with some dumb fucking excuse,…I asked her out again today…well, she said she was now “involved” with someone, to which I said, “Congratulations, you held me off until you found someone else.” She called me a jerk. I don’t really give a damn anymore. …but I call someone on the carpet for bullshit behavior, & yet, I’M THE JERK….Don’t quite understand how THAT works, but, like an animal, I just go by what I see…. & NO, I’m not a very nice person anymore, if “being nice” includes getting “run over” by other people. Goddamn, I hate humans…
On the good side, I have a date tonight! She seems nice, looks cute from her pictures. She seemed a little worried that I might not like her because she is, in her words, “chubby”. Who cares? A woman with a little weight is fine! My God, every man is not that shallow!
it was nice, but I wasn’t attracted to her,…I didn’t feel any spark…not diasppointed…sometimes just doesn’t happen..
yesterday. Still have more to do…going to knock a few beers back Friday night, while cleaning more. This is good…I’m beginning to see some progress being made now.
Supposedly have a date tonight…hope it works. She canceled last night….which was fine with me, because I still had cleaning to do (as I still do) .
Still need to vacuum & dust, but organized & threw out old shoes this morning.
I’ve been shocked at how much I’ve gotten rid of! I’ve almost gotten another box of of crap full & ready to go! Now, I’m looking in all kinds of other places for junk. I think the next thing I’m going to do is clean out old clothing I don’t wear. I’ve got a ton of t-shirts, dress shirts, & polo shirts to investigate & get rid of! I have not even started on them yet! Next, too, is vacuuming – a real headache! I’m not sure why, all of a sudden, that I felt like I needed to do this, but I’m glad it’s happening…my place was starting to look like Fred Sanford’s Junk Yard! Maybe God is trying to get me ready for something (someone?)… I don’t know, but I’d like to think so, but even if He isn’t, it will still provide me more room to breathe. Which is what I need right now! Plus, I just want to simplify. I mean, most of this stuff I’m getting rid of, is stuff that I got in my teens & twenties. I’m not a hoarder by any means, but it still feels good to get rid of a lot of this stuff! I also guess I need to dust, but that will be after I finish getting rid of things. Right now, I just don’t want to lose momentum!
Actually, a couple of stupid things, but I’m only mentioning one here. I let a woman know that I liked her recently, & I got the infamous “I don’t want to wreck our friendship” speech…I cannot win…EVER! She & I had things in common too! Dammit, I’m sick of the frigging excuses…I wish I knew what to do, as I’m tired of getting this cop-out excuse! All I want is one person to love forever, & I’m having to go through “The Twelve Labours of Hercules” to get it….I’m tired, & people don’t care! I’m glad I’m not a damned alcoholic,…as I would have drunk myself into oblivion by now, 144 times over! Jesus H. Christ!!!
Nobody wants me…I’m afraid I got turned down again today, it’s all I ever get anyway…excuses. Stupid, Goddamn, Motherfucking excuses…I’ll never get married, I’ll never have sex, I’ll never have a relationship…people are just heartless! I don’t know what to do, OR how to make myself wanted…I’m pathetic. Just totally crushed!
Kerry Ricardo Corley Jr. 